


Dechlorinated

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Funny, Gen, Swim, Ugh, Water, What am I doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 12:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt fulfillment. Someone requested Eridan teaching Karkat how to swim. This is the result.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dechlorinated

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [homestuck_meme](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/homestuck_meme) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
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> I want a fic where Eridan has to teach Karkat how to swim. Fluff would be excellent :)

Chlorination

\---

A fun fact, for the human readers out there. There are stereotypes in troll culture, just like there are in human society. One such example would be the belief that lowbloods cannot swim. Usually this is untrue. There are many lowbloods who can swim, and swim well. Many green-bloods and rust-bloods tread water easily.

However, Karkat Vantas is not one of these people.

\---

cA: hey kar are you ready to drowwn

cA: i mean swim haha

cA: what a joke the great karkat vvantas swimmin ha

cG: YEAH. SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH.  


cG: HEY, I HAVE A JOKE TOO. WHAT DO YOU CALL A WIZARD-OBSESSED LOSER WHO IS A TOTAL IDIOT AND WHO CAN'T EVEN FILL ONE OF HIS QUADRANTS.  


cA: oh now wwere gettin a little bitter  


cG: WRONG.  


cG: YOU CALL THE LOSER 'ERIDAN AMPORA'.  


cG: WAY TO SUCK, AMPORA.  


cG: WAY TO SUCK.  


cA: are you glubbin serious im doin you a favvor

cA: the only reason im even doin this is fef said that you needed to learn how to swwim  


cA: wwhy you couldnt a got someone else to teach you to do it i dont glubbin knoww  


cG: FEFERI IS TOO BUSY SWIMMING IN HER 'ANCESTOR'S OCEANS' TO HELP ME DO ANYTHING. SOLLUX HATES THE WATER. ALL GAMZEE DOES IS DRINK SOPOR SLIME. EQUIUS IS CREEPY AND SWEATY.

cG: VRISKA,

cG: I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WANTS ME DEAD. 

cG: NEPETA DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM, AND TEREZI.

cG: TEREZI IS BLIND.

cA: wwell thats a little insensitivve

cG: NO. IT'S NOT. SHE'S BLIND.

cG: SO ARE YOU GOING TO MEET ME AT THE AGREED UPON BODY OF WATER OR NOT. BECAUSE I DON'T CARE EITHER WAY.  


cA: oh whoa i didnt evven think a this- 

cA: not tryin to be rude or nothin but i dont evven know if they let lowwbloods swwim in there

cA: so if your like one a them

cA: i wwould tell me

cG: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.

cG: JEGUS. 

cG: FIRST OF ALL. YOU ARE THE SHITTIEST MANIPULATOR I'VE EVER MET. IT IS SO OBVIOUS WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO RIGHT NOW. AND NO, I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU MY BLOOD COLOR. IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

cG: SECONDLY, IT'S A POND.

cG: DO YOU THINK THERE IS A HIGHBLOOD BRIGADE GUARDING IT TO MAKE SURE IT'S NOT MUDDIED BY “LOWBLOOD PRESENCE”. OR WHATEVER DOUCHEY THING YOU SAY.

cA: wwell there should be  


cA: an anywways maybe i gotta reputation to protect

cA: cant be muckin around wwith lowwbloods

cG: YOU ARE SHITTING ME. YOU'RE SO DISGUSTING.

cG: I WANT TO PUNCH YOU IN YOUR STUPID, SNOTTY FACE. SO HARD.

cA: hey hey i knoww your kinda lonely kar but its getting awwful calignous in here and i dont feel comfortable wwith that

carcinoGeneticist logged off.

\---

The pond's reflections are dimmed by the quickly fading day. There are two figures near it; both are standing on opposing ends of the water. The trees provide a canopy of shade; it is cooling off gradually.

"It was probably a good idea t' wait until right before it got dark. Now it's not hot," one of the figures explains. His swimming trunks are the same color as the streak in his hair- purple. His glasses slip; he pushes them up, annoyance flashing over his features.

The accent sounds strange. It's almost Irish in its sound; it has a 'wavy' feel, almost, as if each word is another crest.

The other figure scowls and crosses his arms against his chest. He is gray, the same color as the other. "Wow. So observant. When it gets dark it gets cooler."

The glasses-clad figure scowls and throws something, probably intending to hit the other person. He fails, however, and the object makes it only halfway above the pond in its arc before falling into the water. The object is a scuba mask; it falls slowly beneath the water, bubbles from it's downfall cascading from below the pond's surface.

The glasses-clad figure groans. "I wasn't tryin to hit you anyways." The other figure ignores this statement, however, and chuckles. After a moment, his chuckles devolve into howls of laughter, and his body hunches over, shoulders quaking.

"Whatever, Kar, you're so fuckin' immature," the glasses-clad figure retorts, with a sour expression.

After a few moments, the other figure rises back up. "Yeah," he snorts, still a little out of breath from his laughing fit, "like I'm the immature one." Though his expression is confident, his movements betray his nervousness. It's quiet for a moment before he looks to the water and speaks.

"Eridan." His voice is calm.

"What?" The glasses-clad figure- Eridan, asks.

"...Could I drown? I mean, is the water...deep enough?" The figure looks cautiously to the pond, as if its apparent depth was deceiving.

Now it was Eridan's turn to laugh. "Drown. Karkat, you think you're gonna _drown?_ "

Eridan laughs hard enough that his glasses fall onto the tip of his nose. He pushes them up with the palm of his hand and looks to Karkat. "Haha, you're glubbin' serious, aren't you?"

It's quiet. Anger has overtaken Karkat's face.

After an awkward silence, Eridan sobers up and looks across the pond to the other figure. His expression is thoughtful. "Nah, it's not that deep. I don't think, anyways." He stretches for a minute and looks at the pond. "But, I can wait, I guess, you don't gotta swim today."

"How deep?" Karkat asks. His face is drawn into a familiar scowl.

Eridan thinks for a moment. "I dunno, probably three feet around the edge, four feet around most of it, and maybe six feet in the middle.

Karkat surveys the water for a moment before sighing. "Yeah. I guess that's okay."

Eridan nods and withdraws an extra scuba mask from his bag. "Alright, I'm gonna jump." He snaps the mask on and backs from the pond. With a running start, he leaps into the water.

The splash is loud. Crests of water go outwards from Eridan's submerged body. Drops spray everywhere.

After a moment, Eridan's head appears above water. The troll's nose drips water; his glasses, wonky and off-to-one-side, are smashed against his face by the scuba mask. His gills extend and then withdraw.

The sun retreats quietly behind the trees, leaving only a dull orange dusk. Karkat stands, hesitantly, at the water's edge. He looks anxious and doubtful. Eridan snorts and taunts him. "Haha, Kar's afraid a' a little water." He splashes in Karkat's general direction before diving under and popping back up near the pond's edge.

Karkat sighs. With a reluctant look, he slips off his shoes. His outfit is appropriate, if a little plain- a gray t-shirt and large trunks.

Eridan waits, looking annoyed. Finally, Karkat starts towards the water. The soil around the pond is soft, and crushes beneath his toes as he reaches the edge of the pond. His toe extends towards it.

The water's a little cold.

The troll walks slowly into the water. He stops when he is in to his waist.

"Alright," Karkat says. "I'm in. Now what?"

Eridan looks to him in astonishment before laughing derisively. "Yeah, step one fuckin' completed, you got inta the water." Karkat groans and grimaces again. With a sigh, Eridan speaks again. "You're never gonna swim if you can't even get in deep enough."

Karkat manages to get to his mid-torso before he flips out, flailing in the water. Immediately a torrent of curses emanates from his mouth. "WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD AAAAAHHHHH-"

Eridan shouts out from a few feet away. "Stop freakin' out! Kick your legs, Kar! You can't just move your arms!"

Karkat decides to use his legs, while using his arms. His hands smash in and out of the water, sending spray into Eridan's face. It is a little funny.

Eridan nods. "Alright, you're not drownin' or anythin'. Now, all you gotta do is kick away from where you wanna go."

Karkat's head is bobbing dangerously near the water's surface, and his chest is quickly rising and falling with panic. Water is rushing around his ears, towards his eyes, and his body shakes violently, there is no way, he's gonna die, he's-

Arms suddenly are holding him up.

Unfortunately, Karkat has not yet realized he isn't dead, and he is still kicking for dear life. A kick connects with Eridan's face, and his arms are flailing.

"STOP IT, DUNKASS!" Eridan says, holding the other troll as far away are humanly-or trolly- possible. "YOU'RE KICKIN' ME!"

After a few seconds, Karkat stops flailing long enough to be horribly embarrassed and indignant.

"YOU WERE GOING TO LET ME DROWN, YOU ASSHOLE."

Eridan groans.

Somewhere in the nearby woods, a flying bullfairy giggles.

\---

It is pitch dark by the time Karkat has managed to get in chest-deep water and somewhat swim. His legs swivel underwater and his arms reach out and push.

Eridan is swimming nearby. "See? I told you. You're not gonna die."

Karkat huffs, partially with annoyance and partially with exhaustion. "Am I doing it?" he asks.

Eridan looks thoughtful for a moment before answering. "Well, you're not swimmin' but you're not drownin' either, so I guess that's okay."

Karkat looks cross at this not-so-stellar examination, but says nothing. His yellow eyes dart up to the sky. 

"Whoa," he says.

"What?"

"It's dead dark. The rest of the trolls are probably going to start coming out now." Karkat kicks away from the center of the pond towards the edge again. Eridan looks up and, reluctantly, starts towards the edge as well.

After thirty-seconds of swimming from Eridan and probably a minute of flailing from Karkat, both reach the edge.

Eridan is sitting smugly on the soil by the time Karkat reaches the edge. "What?" Karkat snaps. Eridan grins mockingly. "Way ta' take forever. You're so slow." Karkat scowls and flings a handful of soil in Eridan's direction. Eridan dodges it- barely- but in the process falls onto the ground, getting half of his side dirty.

Karkat, unconcerned, starts out into the woods. Eridan pushes up from the soil, covered in it, and looks towards Karkat's retreating figure. "Where're you goin'?"

Karkat looks back. "Home, dumbass. Where else? I'm not staying around where people can see me like this." He gestures towards his admittedly ridiculous visage; his wet hair droops over his face, and his clothes hang from his body, heavy with water.

Eridan nods. "Yeah, you do look pretty fuckin' stupid."

Karkat rolls his eyes and turns back around, heading off into the night. His footsteps grow quieter and quieter before they are completely inaudible.

Eridan looks back towards the water a moment. All is quiet. After a few minutes, he stands up, brushing off his trunks and grabbing his bag in one fell swoop. "Well," he says quietly to himself, "better get all this dirt offa me. Fuckin' Kar," he says as an afterthought. He turns his heel and heads off into the woods, only stopping once to look up into the sky and gaze at the two moons.

\---

 

a/n-

probably got details wrong

but hey

here it is, hope you like it.

ugh, also i spent like thirty minutes fixing their chat colors and now my work is gone. oh well D:

 


End file.
